Table of Contents


Foundation. Love is the foundation of my spiritual quest. My spiritual quest is not about finding god. I don't believe in god. God's just an abstraction, an empty idea humans made up. The spiritual quest is a real thing. It's the reason to go on living. I long to be conquered by love. But love conquers few. Every silver lining always seems to have a cloud.

Love starts with loving my own body. If I love my body, I take good care of it. I don't damage it by consuming alcohol, taking drugs, eating junk food. I give it plenty of exercise. I pay close attention to body sensations, letting my body guide me. I didn't make progress with love until I surrendered to my body's inherent wisdom in all those areas.

I surrender to the demands of love. I find my way to my wisdom by surrendering to the demands of love, surrendering to love's wisdom.

Becoming a better lover. Loving my body and surrendering to its wisdom makes me a better lover. Loving my body shows me the way to love another's body. No amount of sexual passion or expertise can make me one otherwise. Androgyny is so hip. It's easy to see why: so many androgynous people. My alignment is cummings, my original poet since about age twelve: i can entirely her only love. It's a lovely sonnet with one helluva couplet. Check it out.

Just the way it is. If I put conditions on it, like "I'll love the world when there's true racial equality," or "I can't love a world where corporations control the economy and exploit workers," I end up without love. This is the only world there is, and it won't change to meet my unrealistic conditions. I can't love everything about the world, so I focus on the things I do love, like nature, and people I'm close to. Meditation is working to love the things I do love better.

Ongoing. Meditation is an ongoing course in loving. When I meditate I exercise my love; I make it stronger. I can feel its strength growing. It feels wonderful to exercise my love, and I know I'll be a better lover when I have someone to love. Plus, if I'm a better lover I'll attract love; someone will find me. Meditation increases the love in my life no matter what.

Making friends with love. If I focus on love in my meditation, the physical basics become love's way of teaching me. The pandemic created the perfect opportunity for me to make friends with love and become a better lover. I broke up with my sweetheart right before the pandemic hit, so I got to go through the rest of 2020 all alone. I had just broken free of booze and addiction, so I focused on the other basics: exercise, diet, and meditation. In all three areas, love patiently taught me how to make progress. Even though I'm all alone, I've had lots of opportunity to exercise my love, and I know I'm a better lover now. I'm looking forward to putting that into action.