Table of Contents


Humility. I'm just a human particle. I'm a tiny drop; Leela is the ocean. That gives a sense of the magnitude of the sin of pride, but the slope from me to her is far steeper than the slope from a tiny drop to the ocean. The cure for pride is humility toward Leela and compassion toward people. All my fellow humans are suffering no matter what their outward situation. Pride toward other people is a sad, ignoble way to live. Pride toward Leela, the whole universe, is absurd but common.

Faith. Love demands I have faith. My life has been one long revelation of the power of love. The deeper I look, the more love I see. Everything good that has ever come to me has always been a gift of love, and every real accomplishment in my life has been love working through me, not my accomplishment at all. Love's largess has been exploding ever since my epiphany. I must have faith that love will always save me if I'm to continue down this magnificent road broken hearted.

Meditation. The spiritual journey can't begin without faith. To begin making progress with love I have to have enough faith to start meditating even though there's no good reason to. I have to do it anyway. Meditation has no worldly payoff. It's not a way to relax or reduce stress. It's a way of making progress. I make progress when I work hard. I don't make progress if I'm kicking back and relaxing. Relaxation is just a lovely momentary interlude when I'm so exhausted I can't do more until I rest. Meditation is fucking hard work. That's why nobody does it. People don't meditate. They go through the motions, sitting in some lame lotus position closing their eyes and zoning out. That's not progress, that's bullshit. Meditation makes me sweat, and hurt, and shake my fist in frustration at how hard it is saying why me lord? It's the biggest pain in the butt there is.

Love demands faith. Love, the foundation of the spiritual quest, often demands impossible tasks. To make progress, I have to respond to those demands, and to do that I have to have faith that I will succeed, or that my failure will be just the thing I need to make progress. I can't say that too often. I'm speaking to me.

I had a hard time finding the right music for this. It's a tough subject. Paloma Faith does a better job expressing the essence of faith than all the fucking churches in the world. This video is marked Parental Advisory. You'll want this on full screen.